


Coffee and Floral prints

by etux



Series: Paris AU [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5089892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etux/pseuds/etux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Thorin and his siblings are re-opening Erebor, an elegant coffee place in the better area of Paris, Gandalf Grey suggests expanding. But that would require hiring someone new, and Erebor has always been a family business.</p>
<p>Enter Bilbo Baggins, five feet and two inches of smiles with bright coloured pants and floral printed bow ties.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee and Floral prints

**Author's Note:**

> [Translation in Spanish](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5208107)

The bell tinged twice. First when the door opened, and then again when it closed. Thorin hastily cursed Frerin to the seventh hell in his mind, and he didn't bother to turn and look at the incomer. He just said with a sigh, ”I'm sorry, my brother must have left the door open. We're not open 'till the day after tomorrow.

Hearing familiar laughter made unpleasant shudder run along Thorin's back, and when he turned, he saw his fears become true. Through the door of Erebor had just walked an old friend of his father's, and a pain in Thorin's ass, Gandalf Grey. His smile was as unnerving as ever as the man looked around himself acceptingly in the cafe.

”I see you have gotten a lot done”, Grey said with a smile, and Thorin restrained the urge to roll his eyes. There was a reason it was Frerin who dealt with the customers while Thorin stayed behind the counter, making coffee. Social interaction wasn't Thorin Durin's forte.

”No thanks to you”, Thorin grunted. ”The place was a mess after that spectacle of yours.”

”That spectacle was inevitable in order to return Erebor to Durin family”, the old man reminded, and much to his frustration, Thorin couldn't object to that. Gandalf Grey had been a crucial factor in getting the cafe back after the law firm Thorin's father Thrain had been using had managed to conspire the ownership of Erebor to themselves. Apparently there was some loophole that had allowed Smaug to take over other people's businesses if their original owner got hit by a car and were unable to do anything besides laying on a bed in a nursing home.

Thanks to Grey's 'contacts' the cafe was now back in the ownership of the Durin's – and more specifically, Thorin's. But. Erebor had indeed been in the dirty hands of Smaug for four long months, and in the vibrant life of Paris, being so long out of the picture was basically a death for the business. Good bye, regular customers of two different generations. Good bye, excellent reviews.  
Thorin and his siblings had to start over from a scratch.

But the familiar lounge and kitchen were better than Ered Luin, even when covered in dust. The tiny cafe in a much less respected part of Paris had been a poor replacement for Erebor, but that had been all Thorin and Dis had for four depressing months. Frerin had escaped to the world of fashion models full-time. Not that Thorin could have blamed his brother.  
After losing Erebor, he would have changed line of business as well, but at the age of fourty-two running a cafe was all he knew. (And all Dis wanted, God bless his sister and her love for baking.)

”It's a challenge, getting the business running again”, Grey said. ”You should see this new start as a new opportunity. Expand.”

”Expanding means hiring new people”, Thorin said as hiring new people would have been an impossibility. And it kind of was. Erebor was a family business. No outsiders. Unless there was no new members in the family – through marriage or birth – there was no new members in the staff of Erebor.

”I suppose it does”, Grey said with an annoying twinkle in his eyes. Then the man simply bid his farewell and left Thorin alone in the cafe, uneasy feeling growing in his stomach.

***

The uneasy feeling turned out to be a warning two days later. Thorin was fixing the coffee machine when he heard the bell ting twice. Again once when opened and then when closing. Was the meaning of locks somehow incomprehensible for Frerin?

”I'm sorry, but we won't open 'till tomorrow”, Thorin sighed, and didn't bother turning around this time either. He was in the middle of cleaning the water tank of the coffee machine, thank you very much, and that was perfectly good reason to not engage in small talk with strangers.

(Sometimes Thorin wondered what he did in a line of work that required customer service. Dis would have been so much better in dealing with people, but she spent her time in the kitchen with her unfinished pastries.)

”I, ah... Came here at the request of Gandalf Grey”, said hesitant male voice in French that, while being fluent, revealed the speaker to be British. ”He told me you need an employee.”

Now. This was the moment that made Thorin question his own motives. Erebor had always been a family business, and it was supposed to be one still. No outsider workers, and especially not ones Gandalf Grey had chosen-

When Thorin turned around to tell this all, he found himself face-to-face with the most charming little being he had ever seen.

Too short. Too round and soft, Thorin tried to think, but his brain wouldn't cooperate. At the doorway of Erebor was standing a man with honey curls. He was wearing deep fuchsia coloured straight pants, a white button up, and a white bow tie with little fuchsia roses on it.

All in all the sight was something Thorin approved. Maybe that's why instead of an angry grunt and not-so-friendly suggestion to leave, the two words to escape Thorin's lips were:

”We do.”

***

Thorin didn't quite realize what he had done before he was sitting on his sisters couch, telling Dis how the preparations at Erebor had gone.

”I hired someone.”

”You hired someone?” Dis repeated, and was very close to dropping her coffee cup. ”An outsider? To work in Erebor?”

Thorin could feel his ears reddening with embarrassment. ”I know, Erebor is a family business, and I'm sorry-”

”You're sorry?” Dis cried, and when Thorin lifted his gaze from his coffee cup, he could see the wide grin splitting his sister's face. ”This is great! Perfect!”

Thorin pressed his lips together in an angry line, and he was in the middle of trying to think of something to say, when two boys bursted into the room. Two over-excited, long-haired, unruly, and trouble-attracting boys.

”Do my old ears hear right?” Fili said in overly shocked manner as he slouched to the couch, next to Thorin. ”Is an outsider setting their foot into the secret halls of Erebor?”

”Oh, where have we gotten!” Kili cried in the same tone as his brother. ”How can we disrespect the memory of our forefathers so? Our treasures, our kingdom, our secrets – all in the hands of mortals!”

Fili shook his head sadly and put a hand on Thorin's shoulder. ”These are the times of an End, beloved uncle.”

Thorin settled for grunting, and didn't say what he though. The boys were both of age, but Dis still disliked Thorin setting a bad example with his language.

”So, what is this new employee called?”

***

”Bilbo Baggins, at your service”, man said with an easy smile, and made an exaggerated bow. Dis giggled with delight, and Thorin tried to keep his gaze from lingering on the man's ass. Frerin elbowed him between the ribs.

”I was wondering why you, mister traditions-are-everything, would hire an outsider”, Frerin whispered into Thorin's ear. ”But now I see. You still want to keep Erebor as a family business.”

Thorin almost choked with surprise at his brother's intrusive frankness, and managed to catch the attention of his sister and Bilbo with the sound he let out of his mouth. Dis rolled her eyes at the blush across her brother's face, and then marched into the kitchen to her magic with whatever she was baking today. Bilbo Baggins was left standing still, nervous smile on his face and hands tugging anxiously the new work clothes he had just changed into. Black pants, a white button up, and a black vest were a good look on the man.

Too good, Thorin's mind offered helpfully. He could serve me so much more than just coffee.

***

Bilbo Baggins was good at his job. Almost too good. Close to perfection.

He was better than Fili and Kili with their young, handsome faces and crooked smiles, and even better than Frerin, who was often recognized from some fashion show. And Bilbo didn't even seem to try. He just waltzed through the cafe, taking orders left and right, saying polite hellos to the men and paying compliments to the ladies. All while wearing the most charming smile. Everybody fell in love with him instantly.

The honey curls, the small ears, and the dimples on the soft face. The way he spoke about flowers and growing them, and the way he made fun of his own Britishness. It was all getting women and men left and right fall for him.

”Or maybe you just imagine everybody is falling in love with him”, Frerin said with an uncharacteristic softness, when Thorin crumbled about their newest employee's unnecessary flirting a week after the re-opening. ”Because you are falling in love with him.”

***

”I'm not in love with anyone”, Thorin said, but his sister didn't seem convinced. Nor did her rascal boys.

”You're more in love than Kili, and that's saying something”, Fili gazed apologizingly at his brother, who had yelped in disagreement. ”I'm sorry, brother, but you know it's true.”

Kili left a new sound, this time less protesting. ”If only Tauriel noticed me instead of spending time with her boss' son-”

”Yes, yes, yes. Very charming”, Dis stopped her younger son from keeping the same complaint speech they all had heard for at least six times. ”Tauriel still isn't interested in Thranduil's son, and she's still only waiting for you to ask her out – BUT either of these things are what I wanted to talk about. Thorin. Now, please. The truth.”

Thorin let a heavy sigh, and looked at his sister and nephews face reddening.

”...I like Bilbo Baggins' ass? A lot?”

It was nowhere close to anything Thorin had meant to say, and if his nephew's laughter was anything to get by, it was nowhere close to anything he had been expected to say either.

***

A month after the re-opening, Erebor was back on the map of Paris. The cafe had regained its position as one of the most elegant coffee places, and even Thorin had to admit it was partly thanks to Gandalf Grey and his idea of expanding. Now that Bilbo was there to wait with Frerin and Fili and Kili, they were able to keep the place open for longer, and so lure more customers in.

Of course what also was partly thanks to Gandalf Grey, was that Thorin's life had become more or less hellish.

Bilbo Baggins arrived at Erebor every morning, smiling and polite, always wearing different coloured pants and a bow tie with floral print that matched the colour of his pants. Only to change into the working uniform, that was even more complimenting for his soft figure.

Unbearable.

Frerin and Dis were both continuously teasing Thorin of his wandering gaze, but neither of them understood how truly hard it was to focus in making coffee or cleaning tables, when there was five feet and two inches of perfection smiling at you.

Five weeks after the hiring of Bilbo, Thorin's devilish nephews started plotting for getting their uncle together with the new waiter, but even Fili and Kili had to admit defeat after two weeks. They came to the same conclusion as Thorin himself:

Thorin Durin had no social skills.

***

”Listen”, said Bilbo Baggins emphatically. The small man had stopped Thorin after closing hours, and now he stood in front of Thorin with a stern look on his face and hands on his hips. ”If you have something to complain about how I work, just say it. Don't just stare at me like you want to murder me. I'm perfectly capable of accepting criticism, but I don't like being leered at or complained about behind my back.”

Thorin tried to think of something to say, anything, but he couldn't get his mouth to open. He had to settle for extremely intelligent blinking.

”I understand that Erebor has been a family business, and that you don't trust an employee chosen by Gandalf”, Bilbo continued, and in his expression was a hint of sincere hurt. ”But the final decision of hiring me was yours. So, if you want to get rid of me, say it, and just glare at me until I resign. Because that's not going to happen.”

”Why?” Thorin blurted, and immediately cursed the loss of his speaking abilities. He had meant to tell that he hadn't glared at anyone, and that Bilbo did great job and earned his place at Erebor, that he hadn't meant to make Bilbo feel uncomfortable... And instead Thorin had just managed to sound like he wished for the man to leave.

”Because I'm Bilbo Baggins, and I don't give up”, Bilbo said, and all of his usual cheeriness was gone. The honey curls swayed around the man's head as he poked Thorin in the chest with his index finger, and nearly growled: ”Gandalf told me to help you with returning the name of your cafe, and that's what I intend to do.”

***

”I hear you pissed Bilbo off”, Frerin said carelessly the next morning at the cafe, before opening.

”Oh, he truly did!” announced Dis, who stood in the kitchen doorway, flour in her hair. ”Bilbo made a proper speech. He thinks Thorin hates him and thinks he's a bad waiter.”

Frerin snorted, and Thorin could feel his ears burning. He tried to focus on putting the pastries on display, but his younger siblings had other plans.

”You didn't think of telling him the truth?” Frerin asked with a raised eyebrow. ”Not that I'm an expert in romance, but this is starting to be pitiable even from you.”

”Fixing the whole thing would be so simple, Thorin!” Dis seconded. ”Just tell him you are satisfied with his work and everything else about him-”

”-and then you just grab that nicely round ass”, Frerin completed the sentence with a serious face, and made Thorin remember once more where Fili and Kili got their behaviour.

”I'm not telling anything to anyone”, Thorin said, face red with embarrassment. He had never gotten used to being teased even though he had had over forty years of experience. ”Nor am I grabbing anything.”

Dis returned to the kitchen, rolling her eyes, and Frerin just watched Thorin with a thoughtful expression. Thorin raised his eyebrows questioningly, but Frerin just shook his head before marching to the backroom to change into his work clothes.

***

”You have to do something” Fili said seriously. The boy had just appeared next to Thorin out of thin air, or maybe Thorin had just been too deep in his thoughts to notice. Probably the latter, since Bilbo Baggins was on the other side of the cafe, cleaning tables. Erebor had been closed about half an hour ago.

”So do you”, Thorin pointed out, and gave his oldest nephew the dishcloth he had been holding in his hand. ”Help clean the tables.”

Fili took the cloth with a sigh. ”Uncle, you know I'm not talking about cleaning-”

”So don't talk at all.”

***

”You were rude to Fili.”

Thorin let a frustrated sigh. Didn't he get a moment of peace from his nephews? He had just sat down in his office with a cup of coffee and a leftover cupcake, ready to do some overdue paperwork.

”You were rude to Fili”, Kili repeated from the doorway. ”He was just trying to help you.”

”I don't need your help.”

Kili laughed. ”Why do you let mister Baggins to think you hate him? No, don't answer. I know – you think it's easier this way. You think mister Baggins doesn't like you-”

”I happen to know he doesn't like me”, Thorin said wryly, thinking about Bilbo's offended expression and angry words when he had told Thorin to stop glaring. That wasn't the tone you used when you liked someone.

”Oh, just like he knows you hate him?” Kili asked almost innocently, and then turned his back to Thorin in order to leave the office. Thorin was left to sit alone with his paperwork, and he couldn't help but wonder when the young and unruly Kili had learned to read people like that.

***

Two months after the re-opening, and Thorin still hadn't been able to fix Bilbo Baggins' impression of him. Or Bilbo's impression of what was Thorin's impression of him. Or what impression Thorin had of what his impression of his impression-

Well, anyways. Two months after the re-opening, and Thorin hadn't been able to do anything about his hopeless crush.

Clearly it was the time for Gandalf Grey to come on the scene.

***

Thorin grimaced when he noticed the familiar figure stepping in trough the door of Erebor.

”Gandalf!” Bilbo's delighted voice came from somewhere behind Thorin, and he grimaced again. So he wasn't the only one to notice the old man who had arrived after closing hours. Great. Now there was no way getting rid of Grey.

”Bilbo”, Grey greeted his friend with an easy smile – and it was clear from their interaction that they really were friends and not just acquaintances like Thorin and Grey. Not even Bilbo greeted anyone short of friend with such enthusiasm.

”Thorin Durin”, Grey said turning to Thorin after changing the appropriate air kisses with Bilbo. ”I see you have hired Bilbo, but I also see you haven't expanded your business.”

”...we have expanded our hours?” Thorin said and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Wasn't that enough in the eyes of Gandalf Grey? At least for Erebor this expansion had been profitable both in money and-

”Good, good, very good”, Grey said impatiently. ”But it's nowhere near what I had in mind – you should expand from being a cafe to being a restaurant as well! I thought you would've managed the expansion by now, now that Bilbo is here-”

”A restaurant?” Now Thorin truly was confused. ”But we would need a cook, and I don't-”

Thorin let his words die in the air. Grey and Bilbo were looking at each other with amused expressions, and that made Thorin feel uneasy.

”Thorin...” Bilbo finally said with a mischievous smile. ”I'm a chef.”

***

Thorin cursed himself to the seventh hell, and he wasn't even sure that was enough.

Bilbo Baggins was a cook. And not any cook, but the son of the chef Belladonna Took and the food critic Bungo Baggins. The cook – no, the chef – who had earned the fifth star for Bag End, the restaurant that had been the most popular gourmet restaurant in London all until it got closed a year ago. (After Belladonna and her husband Bungo both passed away within a short period of time, their son didn't have the will to continue running the restaurant his parents had started.)  
The 'Mad Baggins', who was praised by every critic in Europe, and who was known for his creative recipes. A legend.

And Thorin hadn't recognized him, but made him a waiter. In a cafe.  
Thorin was sure that somewhere, someone had a good laugh in their beard.

Thorin was also sure that he knew that someone, and that their beard was golden and well-groomed.

***

”You knew!” Thorin announced as soon as he got into Frerin's hallway with his spare key. ”You knew, didn't you? You went to Bag End year and a half ago, I remember, and you praised his food – oh dear god, you knew. Why did't you tell me?”

Frerin arrived to the hallway with a grin, having heard the rage of his brother. ”But telling you wouldn't have been any fun, would it?”

”I made him a waiter”, Thorin whined and buried his face into his hands. ”A waiter, Frerin. A waiter. One of the greatest cooks of our time. How didn't I recognize him?”

”Because he hasn't really shown his face for the public”, Frerin said with a smile. ”But on the other hand... The name should have rung some bells.”

A weird groan escaped behind Thorin's hands. And then, a sudden realization hit him.

”Bilbo Baggins thinks I hate him.”

”Yup”, Frerin said cheerfully, and Thorin didn't feel any better.

***

”I horribly misjudged you”, is what escaped Thorin's mouth when he first tasted Bilbo's food. Shit, he really should do something about his social skills.

Bilbo said nothing, just raised one eyebrow challengingly. Like demanding for the explanation Thorin clearly owed him. So that's what Thorin gave. And for once, he also did what his brother had adviced him to do. He told the truth.

”I mean-”, Thorin searched for the right words. ”That I misjudged you in the sense of not recognizing your name and making you a waiter. And then I misjudged you – or maybe myself – and let you think I hate you, even though it's quite the opposite. And I... I apologize, Bilbo Baggins, for misjudging you. You can continue hating me-”

And then Bilbo stepped close, reached his hands to cup Thorin's face, and pulled him into a wild kiss.

”I don't hate you”, Bilbo said with a smile, after pulling away from the kiss for a moment. ”...It's quite the opposite.”

***

Nine weeks after re-opening Erebor, Thorin Durin stood in front of Bilbo Baggins' door, a bouquet of roses in his hand. And when he knocked on the door and stepped inside, and was thanked for the roses with a kiss on the cheek by a man wearing dark pants, white button up and a light blue jacket with rose print, Thorin had a feeling that maybe, maybe, if everything went well, Erebor could become a family business again.

**Author's Note:**

> I finally decided to translate this into English. There is more than just this piece of this AU for me to translate, and even more to write. I hope you enjoyed this one and will decide to stick around for more once I'll be able to avoid my school work and focus on fanfiction.


End file.
